酷儿们

Queers 松散的结构之下，其实是编剧有意为 LGBTQ 群体与群体之外的其他人找到了一种新的联系。

将视角放到更高的地位，看似 8 集毫不相干的不同主角的碎碎念，实际讲述了在各个重大历史事件之中，LGBTQ 群体所扮演的角色，尤其是影响了世界格局的一战二战，他们所冀盼的和平，和普通人无异，他们的付出，也不少于你和我。

1st Episode月台上的男人时间点放在一战背影的第一集无论是选角还是故事编排，我个人都觉得是8集里质量最高的。

故事编排工整，用主人公 Perce 人生中的两次月台之上的所见所闻，一方面勾画出了历史上著名的王尔德事件，同时也完成对自己的救赎。

本喵贡献了超出以往的高水平表演，文弱书生的气质也着着实实适合代入这种看似柔弱、实际倔强的角色。

初始颇为碍眼的浓密的胡子 mustache 随着独白的深入，竟然也和角色浑然一体了。

用王尔德事件作为开篇绝不是偶然，因为事件不仅仅将 LGBT 群体由黑暗阴影之中第一次推向耀眼白光之下，更是人类性解放运动的开端。

“对于这种爱的名字，本世纪无人敢于提及。

然而它是一名年长男子对于一名年轻男子所产生的极其伟大的感情，就像大卫和乔纳森，就像柏拉图哲学理论的基础，就像你从米开朗琪罗和莎士比亚的作品中所发现的精神。

它是深刻的精神之爱，既纯洁又完美。

”虽然没有任何场景，但本喵极富感染力的音调、恰到好处的表情克制和所述故事的细腻，让整个独白画面感非常强，犹如情景重现，细枝末叶都看得清清楚楚，甚至不知不觉在脑海里对王尔德的脸（未出镜）都有了一个更为具象的脸谱想像。

其中所描述的关于如何辨识同类，放之于任何男女之间的一见钟情，更是有异曲同工之妙。

“It's always the eyes. That's how you know. A glance held just that a little bit too long, dragged off to the one side, like the trail of a very light in the dark.眼神是最能辩明身份的。

多停留一秒、旋即抽神而去的目光，就如黑暗中那白日焰火般明了，两人心照不宣。

”2nd Episode出柜的好日子A Great Day Out 讲述了英国 LGBT 史上突破性的一刻，1994 年英国国会同意将同性恋合法年龄下调到 18 岁双方同意的同性恋行为就不算犯法。

本集 17 岁主角 Andrew 的扮演者是诺兰毁誉参半的新片 Dunkirk 的男主角 Fionn Whitehead，依然是借由普通人的口吻来讲述最激烈的革命。

在独白中 Andrew 所说的那一句“仅仅被人忍受是不够的”刺穿了英国国会这一妥协的荒谬之处。

I don't want to be tolerated. 当然了，有进步总是好的。

3rd Episode袖手旁观的愤怒小狼的盛世美颜在第 3 集镇场，用一个演员自我读白来折射出 80 年代令人绝望的 AIDS 大爆发，AIDS 的爆发在当时被视作比癌症更为严重的洪水猛兽，但真正令人绝望的是政府对此的不作为。

其所扮演的演员 Phil 以扮演绝症患者为生，究竟在生命的最后一刻会怎么样的情绪，于个人可能更多的是会不会在痛苦中死去、死亡的过程会不会很快，又或者万一活了下来又会怎么样；但对于整个社会，可能更多的是对其不作为的愤怒。

4th Episode想念爱丽丝说到同性恋，同妻这个群体就不得不提及。

这是一个涉及到互相伤害、利益、世俗、情与欲的范畴。

无独有偶，BBC 最近也出了一个两集长度的《橘衫男子》，里面就有大量的关于同妻的描述。

你会觉得同妻所能获得的性生活很少，但实际并不然，真正将她们与快乐隔绝开来的是，是本来最能获得亲密的行为却在她们身上最大程度上烙下了伤痕，本来是除却巫山不是云的美好，却变成了冰冷身体的物理摩擦。

这种来自身边最亲密的人的打击，是最难痊愈的，有些人选择了忍气吞声，有些人选择了两败俱伤。

这一集所对应的则是 1954 年英国成为了一个专门委员会研究应该如何处理“同性恋犯罪与卖淫”，经过 62 次会议、听取 200 个以上团体和人人所作的证词、长达 3 年的激烈讨论和质证，委员会主席 John Wolfenden 在 1957 正式向英国政府提交报告称“同性恋不是一种疾病”以及“任何成年人之间、在相互允许的情况下、私下进行同性恋活动不应该被认为是犯罪”。

5th Episode战争缅怀者1967 年，英国英格兰及威尔士地区正式取消同性恋犯罪，规定年满 21 岁双方同意的同性恋行为不算犯罪。

同样是将同性恋去罪名化，你可以将这一集和第二集做个对比，相对于现代小孩对人权追求的强烈坚持，老一辈的人当时的态度看起来要消极得多。

6th Episode城市里最安全的一角这一集带着浓浓的二战情结，大背影是 1941 年德国纳粹发起的对英国首都伦敦实施战略轰炸，这一事件在《他们最好的》和动画电影《伦敦一家人》都有着非常明显的体现。

在更大的和平需求面前，LGBTQ 群体的参与感并不比寻常人要弱。

7th Episode完美绅士这是整个系列里的第二爱，讲述了一个无奈的蕾丝边儿骗炮的悲伤故事。

我们权游里的铁姐儿 Gemma Whelan 在这里继续是汉气十足的铁T，将那种欲求亲密而不得的无奈演绎得淋漓尽致。

若故事有一半属实，一根干蜡烛也能把男人可以做的事做完了，画面感太美我都不敢想了。

8th Episode借来之物这一集和第一集并列成为这个系列的最爱，因为我们亲爱的 Alan Cumming 说出了同性恋人那些细腻又温馨的细节，说到底，我们都是无可救药的浪漫主义者。

而这一切得以温馨回忆的细节，都得益一个世纪以来前人不断地争取和努力之下达成的同性婚姻合法化（2013年英国）。

第一次相遇时，他闻起来有棉花糖和香皂的味道，一种合适得迷人的味道。

剧本来源：BBC官方网站 搬运/侵删Queers. s01e01 Episode ScriptThe Man On the PlatformDouglas Fairbanks there thinks he's in with a chance.A bit of company on a wet Friday night.Except old Dougie doesn't have a cast in his eye and a built-up shoe.At least, not last time I was at the flickers.It's always the eyes.That's how you know.A glance held just that little bit too long, dragged off to one side, like the trail of a Very light in the dark.After the do, the, um, interview ..the officer asks me, not unkindly, I must say, "So how do you chaps, "chaps like you and the captain, know one another?" So I told him.Not my words, something somebody said to me once."A certain liquidity of the eye." That's how HE knew.My eyes are bad, mind you.Too bad for shooting Prussians at any rate, so I was shunted onto hospital work."Cushy", says Sam."That's a charabanc holiday, Perce."You always wanted to see France, didn't you?" I remember my first day in resus - the resuscitation tent.That's where they take the dying or the nearly dying and the shocked ones.There's heated beds to put some life back into them, and transfusions.Our guns were going hell for leather.The sky was all lit up - powdery, green.Horrible green.Like the air was sick.Star shells, Verys, dumps going up.And then the ambulances come in and we have to ferry them in, the ones that can't walk.And they've got these labels on them that tell you what's wrong with them.Like left luggage.Have you ever carried a stretcher? Bloody horrible.You feel like your arms are going to pop out of their sockets.Some chaps can get very heavy.Those that can walk into the hospital ..are covered in mud and salt sweat.Caked in it.All stiff and cracked, like moving statues, like those poor fuckers in Pompeii what got covered in lava.I've seen photographs of them in the lending library.And then, in the resus tent, a thing you'd never expect.Silence.Not a moan or a groan.They're beyond all that, I suppose, most of them.Smoking, breathing, just about.Mind you, I've seen what a transfusion can do and it is a bloody miracle.Lads with one foot in the grave and their pulses all thready, they have the transfusion, they're up, they're joking, they're having a smoke in a couple of hours.I said to Captain Leslie, I said, "You wouldn't credit it, would you? "It's like It's like witchcraft." "Sounds about right", he says, "since we're in hell." But he says it with a smile and when he does that there's these creases in his cheeks like ripples in the sand."You're a credit to this unit, Percy", he says to me."You've all the tenderness of a woman." And he shakes my hand."It's Terrence," he says and I says, "What is?" He says, "Me."My name.Terence Lesley."Do call me Terence."I can't bear all this formal rot." But he's an officer and it don't seem right, so, "I'll stick to Captain Leslie," I say, "if it's all the same." He just smiles again and shrugs.And his eyelashes are long.Long and blonde.I can't see much of his hair cos it's under his cap, but then one day I'm bringing in a stretcher ..and he takes his hat off and, just like that, his hair tumbles out.Yellow as corn.And I must have stared because he grins at me and pushes his hair out of his eyes and says, "Come along, Perce, stir your stumps." But I don't move.And just for a bit Well, like I say, held just a just a moment too long.Douglas Fairbanks over there will give me a wink in a minute.There you go.HE SIGHS KNOWINGLY I've always been a skinny bugger, me.Thin as a whip, Mother says.Father was the same.Mother always had a bit more beef on her after she had Albert and me, and there was one before us.A boy.But he died.He was called Percy, an' all.Poison berries.Never think a thing like that can happen, but it does.I can remember Mother showing me the pictures in the medicine book, all shiny and glossy pictures like Jesus in the book at Sunday School.And little Percy had grabbed a handful of these berries and ..that was that.Box, I think, the berries.Black, like little bullets.Like liquorice sweeties.Maybe that's what little Percy thought they was.Anyway, they done for him and then, a year or so after that, along comes I and they call me Percy, too.A bit odd, some might say, a bit morbid, but Mother always said that she could see him in me.And she looks so funny when she says that to me ..and she looks so sad.But I don't think it's just because of little Percy because there was another time she looked at me the same way.It was freezing, I remember that.We was waiting for a train.Dad had some business in Reading, I forget what it was.We were to come with and make a day of it.I was 15, thereabouts.Albert was 12.I'd been dispatched in search of tea and buns.They all sat in the waiting room, steam coming off them like wet dogs.Anyway, I'm on my way to the refreshments and there's a commotion, so I think, "Oh, the train must be coming in," so I say to the girl behind the tea stall, pretty girl I remember with bows in her hair, I ask her to get a shift on.She says, "What's the hurry? The Reading train isn't in for another "quarter of an hour." So I think, "What's all the fuss about, then?" And then I see it ahead of me on the platform.Policemen, at least I think they're policemen, but then I look properly and they're not, they're from the jail.Dark uniforms, little hats with shiny brims.And between them, well, aa prisoner ..waiting to be taken away, I suppose.And it's not the first time I've seen as such.I used to see them a lot, poor bastards, shuffling along in their chains and the arrows on their clothes.And it's rough clobber, like to make you itch, worse than this.So, "Why are all these folk whispering and pointing?" I wonder.So I look at the chap in the chains and he's a big chap, sort of like a big bear of a fella.With a big slack, pouchy face.Fat-ish, except it's all sunk in now, and his hair, which was most likely black as your hat is now shot through with grey.And he looks wretched.As well he might.There's rain dripping off his hair and down the creases in his big face.And then I realise, it's not just rain, he's bloody crying.And then he looks at me.And there it was.In that moment ..a certain liquidity of the eye.And then he looks back down at his boots and it's as if the whole world has come tumbling down around him.I stand there.And I think, "He knows me."He knows me for what I am."He can see it in me." And I start to shake.And it's not from the cold, it's shame.And fear and ..terror.And someone starts laughing.And there's a little girl and she's wandered close to the prisoner.She's got a little wooden horse on a dirty bit of string.And then her mother goes up and drags the girl away from the man as if he were like to eat her up.And then I hear it, a name.Whispered behind fancy gloves and November hands what are stiff with cold."It's him, isn't it?" And suddenly Dad's beside me and he's gripping my arm and he says, "You all right, Perce?" And he's proper worried.And there's a sort of ringing noise in my ear and I feel for a moment like I might faint, but then this chap goes straight up to the prisoner on the platform and he He spits in his face.And Dad looked shocked.And just then, the train comes puffing into the station, steam everywhere.And I look back to the prisoner, but he's covered now in a great big cloud of steam.Dad picks up the tea and the buns and he gets us into the carriage.It smells of damp wool and musty, like church, and there's little beads of rain on the window, the open window.And Mum pulls down the leather strap and the sound sort of ..snaps me out of it."What was all that fuss about there, Clem?" And Dad sups at his tea and it hangs in little drops from the ends of his Kitchener 'tashe."You won't believe it," he says."Out there on the platform, waiting to be taken to prison" "Who?" pipes up Albert.And he looks at us and he shakes his head in wonder."Oscar Wilde!" he says.And then Mum looks at me.Tender, like I've never had the nerve.That's the thing, I suppose.A notion of getting in trouble or being a bother I could always imagine Mother's face if she found out I'd been up to things.And I couldn't bear it, I couldn't bear to disappoint, so I didn't, I didn't do anything about it.Not even a tuppeny wank with Sam or nothing.I kept my own counsel, as they say.Also, there was a girl who was sweet on me.Annie.And that sort of stopped people asking, I suppose.We courted for a long while, but she got fed up because I never asked her to marry me.I took on like Annie had broke my heart and then, what with one thing or another and then the war, it sort of, somehow, I got away with it.A lot of questions, of course.Especially when all us Tommies were billeted together for the first time."You married?" "No." "You got a girl?" "Well, I used to." And then one day, in Amiens, there was a sort of lull.Hot as hell it was.Not what you think.People think of all that mud and rain, but we was there the live long year and sometimes it was hot and parched.Fucking flies everywhere.Blue and green bellies on them.Fat.Great clouds of them because of the dead bodies.And Captain Leslie comes up to me and he slaps me on the shoulder and he says, "Come along, Perce, we're going hunting." And I say, "What?" He says, "Butterflies", because we're camped on this sort of downland.And there's marigolds and poppies all over, little splashes of colour.I can still taste the dust.Chalky in your mouth and your hair and ..on the Dunlop tyres like white paint, because Terrence had only gone and got us bicycles, the silly bugger.And it was only for a few hours but you could forget, you know, for a bit, everything that was going on.And we came to this sort of lake.It was a crater hole, I suppose, and the water was glass green and clear like a perfume bottle.And Terence, he starts hollering and rattling the bike down to the water and he pulls off all his clothes and in he goes.I follows, and then we go splashing about in our birthday suits.And he's brick red from the sunshine, but not where his shirt's been, so he's got this sort of red face and arms, and the rest of him is He's like a ghost.And after we've swum about, we just lie in the grass and fall asleep.You can hear the buzz of the flies, but they are way off and some of the ones that are closer are butterflies, so that's all right, and I just ..lie there and I watch Terence sleeping and ..his Adam's apple bobbing up and down.And his hair is golden.And the line of his jaw is just sort of ..perfect.Like a draughtsman's drawn it.Like I'd drawn it.And his lips are dark and full and they're like bramble.And all I want to do is bend down and And he opens his eyes ..and squints.And he lifts his hand to cover them so he can see better.And he says, "We'd best be getting back." We all had on us the stench of death.The bread we ate, the stagnant water, everything we touched had a rotten smell.But that day, everything was OK.It was bright.And it was pure, you see? And nobody had seen, had they? I've done my bit.The officer mentioned that.Exemplary service.When he took me aside for a quiet word.And of course, what had Terence and me What had the Captain and me ..got up to? Sweet FA.But someone had seen us and ..they thought, "Hello, what's going on here?" And it's bad for morale and all of that, so I was to be sent elsewhere.And, of course, I didn't get to see the Captain, did I? Because he'd been transferred, too.I was packed onto this carriage ..sweat and tobacco smelling and fellas pushing up against you and shoving for room, and the train gives a great big lurch and then it starts off.I just sit down on the floor and pull me cap over me eyes and drift off.I don't know how much time has passed, but I wake up and it's dark outside.And the train's pulling into a station and in the carriage it's just these little night lights on - bluey.They make everyone look three-parts dead.And the train pulls into the station and it's going slow, like, puffing, like some of them boys in the resus tent.And then, I do see him.Terence.He's out the window, on the platform.Grey coat, hair tucked under his cap, neat.And he's talking to someone.And they must have made him laugh cos there's those little lines in his cheeks again.But he don't see me.So I push through the carriage past the other fellas and it's not easy now cos most have dropped off and I trip over some poor bugger and he curses me, but I make it to the window and I pull down the sash ..and the air outside is warm.And all I want to do is wave.But, of course, what can I say? Um "So long, Captain Leslie?" "So long, Perce." But then he does see me.He glances over, but he's still talking to his pal and just then the train lurches forward.The brakes go on and the blue lights go out and just like that, pitch-black.And all the other fellas in the carriage start groaning and someone says, "Oh, here we fucking go," but all I can feel is my heart beating and the air.And the darkness pressing against the window and my hand gripping the window ledge.And then someone takes my hand.Someone outside on the platform.And it's Terence.And he takes my hand and he just ..lifts it to his lips and he kisses it.There's no train then, there's no troops, there's no war.There's just his bramble lips pressed against the tips of my fingers ..and all the hair on my neck goes up on end.And then the train lurches forward and he's let go of my hand and all the blue lights go on, and Outside there's nothing but steam.Steam and darkness.Next Episode >Queers. Episode Scripts | More Television Show Episode Scripts Queers. s01e02 Episode ScriptA Grand Day OutThere's a vegetarian restaurant round the corner.You know, just round A couple of streets from here.Does completely veggie.I had a falafel.It was nice.It was OK.Did you see the news on telly last night? No, just wondered.There were some bits in the papers, I checked in WH Smiths.Tiny, you know, but that's not what I'm So, you didn't see News at Ten, no? No.Ah, shit.Oh, well.Two fellas over there.Can you believe they voted no? Can you believe it? I couldn't believe it.Yeah, well, not No, I know, but 18.You know, it's almost worse than if they'd kept it at 21.There would be some honesty in that.We hate you and, you know, piss off.At least that would have been consistent but, yeah, we'll make you slightly more equal.Yeah, well, big wow! Of course it's better, I know that, of course it is.But, well, it's just It's 1994! You know, Jesus! That's what this fella said last night.He said it was good and that things were changing but it just makes you I don't want to be tolerated, you know? I've got a bit of falafel in me teeth.It's impressive when you see it.The House of Commons.Have you been? It's bigger than it looks on telly.I just come down on my own.I wasn't planning to.I hadn't thought of it, really.I mean, I knew the vote was coming up, the reading of the bill.I've been following it, but Then it was on the front page that morning that Derek Jarman had died and, erm You know, not like it was a sign or anything, I don't believe in all that, but I just thought "Sod it.I should go." You know, show them that we count.You know, we do exist.It does matter, the things they're talking about, so I mean, I'm not a big fan or anything.I just knew he was important, Jarman.I've seen his version of The Tempest.It was the first thing I saw at the arthouse cinema back home.I never even knew they were a thing.And I taped Blue off Channel 4 a couple of months back.I haven't watched it yet.That's been the best thing about sixth form, is discovering things like that.No-one at my old school would ever have gone to something like that.Morons.There was this lad in my year, Darren Hardcastle.Daz.All he'd talk about was wanking.You know, he was obsessed.It's all he went on about.And if he wasn't banging on about wanking, he was punching people.Wanking or punching.And I used to think, "This is what prison must be like."This is like1984." I couldn't wait to leave.I ran from that place.Well, metaphorically.Well, literally.They arranged a scrap with the comp across the field.I hated it.We were outside for hours last night, shifting around, trying to keep warm.Most people were in groups, actually.I don't know if they were friends or from, you know, Stonewall, that kind of thing.There were some banners and signs and people had candles.You needed candles because of how bloody cold it was, I'm telling you.Flipping heck! And there was a weird mix of excitement because of what it was and boredom because it took ages.And this lad looked at me a few times while I was there.I saw him looking.Caught his eye.Looked back.He was You know, he was lovely.I can be a bit shy.And then finally someone come out, must have said it had been done, whatever time it was, late, come out of the House of Commons.I couldn't see who they were and then you heard everyone starting to boo and you think, "Oh" You know, because we'd been there for so long because Well, I don't know how many people there were, but enough.You know, 200.Enough for it to feel like You know, because I'm used to being on my own.I don't know anyone else who's gay.And last night, there were loads of us, and we're nice, you know, I was looking round and I was thinking, "These are nice people." And so you start to think, well, of course they'll vote the right way.Why wouldn't they? What would be the point in not? You start getting carried away with reason.And I know you shouldn't do that.And so this bloke come out and he must have said they voted 18 and everyone started to boo cos I think we had all convinced ourselves it was going to be 16, you know, it was going to be equal, so it was like a It was like a kick in the teeth.And then we all sort of surged towards the Commons, towards the doors he had come out of.It just happened and police were there, a couple on horses, that kind of thing and And people are chanting and shouting and just sort of, you know, pissed off, you know, and there is a bit of a scuffle and I did think, just for a moment, "Is this?" Because a policeman's helmet landed at my feet.Yeah, but it was nothing really, and then someone shouted, "Let's go to Downing Street," and so we all marched up there and there was some shouting outside the gates for a bit and then we all went up to Trafalgar Square and a group of people started sitting in the road to block the traffic and Well, you go along with it, but I did feel a bit You know, self-conscious, I suppose.You know, but also, like You know, because I was pissed off, too, and the police were getting a bit Well, not mardy but It was late.I think we could all tell it had run out of steam but we were angry.That's the point.And so what do you do? So we did that for, you know ..ten minutes.Then everyone went home.And then you read this morning that there were scuffles between police and a minority out to cause trouble.And there was no minority out to cause trouble, it was sopiddly.There was a bit of shoving and a bit of shouting and that's all.But to read the papers, the bit there is, you'd think it was a kind of riot.That's kind of interesting, the distortion.I've never been a part of something that's been reported before.We were all just fed up.And so I'd missed my train by this point and this fella, Marcus, that I'd been sitting in the road with, he asked if I wanted to go back to his and I thought Well, you know, but what do you do? I had nowhere to go, and so I did.That's his name, Marcus.Of course it is, sorry."Mar-cous".We went back to his, his flat, and it was You know, I mean, it was fine.It was a bit Not It was OK.I think I'd thought, and I mean, this is stupid, I know it is, but I think I'd thought people in London London is just a place, isn't it? Like any other.I suppose you think, London You know, I don't mean to sound snobby.It's not snobby.I'm not a snob.My mate Sean is proper bourgeois, though he'd have you believe he's working class because his dad, I don't know, once drained a radiator or something, but I remember his face when I told him we had our tea on our laps on Sunday watching Bullseye, so I'm not ..you know, posh.Anyway, he was asking what I did, Marcus, and I told him I was a student and he said he worked for the BBC in accounts, so that's interesting, isn't it? Kind of.And I'd said from the start that I just needed a place to stay until I could get a train home in the morning and he said that was OK.I was giving off the right vibes, I think, so Yeah, it was cool.He's a lot older than me.He's 30, but he was You know, nice.He made us some toast and put the heat on, so it was fine.He had this jam that's made without any sugar.And we talked a bit.He said he'd been on a few marches and things.You know, not just gay, but other stuff.Poll tax, and You know, so it was interesting.We talked about last night and called them bastards and put the What is it? Put the world to rights.And then he said, "Well, at least that means you're legal now." You know, because I'm 18.I mean, I'm actually 17 but I'd told him I was 18 because I thought 17 sounded a bit young.That's stupid, isn't it? And I think when he said that, I thought "Right" You know? I just kind of laughed it off and then he said he should go to bed and he went to get some bedding for me for the sofa and I think he thought I was a virgin, which I'm not, but I mean Well, I'm not not a virgin.But when he came back in the living room with the bedding ..he was starkers and I thought "Blimey!" You know, but then I thought, maybe that's just what he does.Sean, my mate, sleeps in the nude.It never occurred to me that was a thing you could do until I stopped round his.Well, a lot hadn't occurred to me until I stopped round his.But anyway, so I was sitting down on the sofa and he dropped the duvet and pillows next to me.The duvet didn't have a cover on it.The things that go through your head! You know, I thought, "Mum would never give someone a duvet "without a cover on it." So then, he was there You know, "Hello, boys!" So I'm kind of And then he reached his hand out and he stroked the back of my head, just softly, and that was actually quite nice.That sounds pathetic, doesn't it? I'm not an idiot, I knew what Well, you know, cards were on the table, but I thought, he's letting me stay over and he's not Well, he's quite nice, you know, looking, I mean.He's all right.He's not Kristian Schmidt, but So I put him in my mouth.And that seemed to go down well.And then a minute or two later he stood me up and he kissed me and I thought, "Right, I've got to decide now, "you know, if I'm not up for this, "I've kind of got to say something now "because you don't want to be rude." But I didn't say anything and so he led me through into his bedroom and he said, "Is this all right?" And genuinely, for a split second, I thought he was asking about his room, and I did think, "Well, now we know what Athena does with its remaindered stock." But he had my top off by that point and I felt kind of separate to it, like I was watching myself, you know, like Brecht - verfremdungseffekt.And I was kind of talking to myself, saying, "Is this all right? Is this OK?" You know, keeping calm.In my head, not No, I think that might have put him off.But it was just nice not to be rushed because I suppose everything I've done up till now has been at parties with lads from college who Well, you've got to sort of take advantage of the moment.I say lads, it makes it sound like there's hundreds of them, there's not, believe me, really just me and Well, just me and Jamie Flynn, I suppose.And Sean.We Not, not regularly, you know, not If he's drunk and in the right mood, and I kind of know how to be in the right place at the right time, but Well, it's an art more than it is a science and you've either got one eye on the door or worse, you've got to kind of prep yourself in case he loses the mood or after decides it didn't happen.I don't mean nasty, but just So it was really the first time it felt legitimate doing anything - you know, with an accountant! I didn't have a clue what I was doing, I'll be honest, but Well, he didn't You know, he was nice, patient.He kept talking to me and checking I was OK.I almost wished he wouldn't.I almost wanted him to just go for it.Almost.And I think, weirdly, and this feels weird now I come to think about it, but I think because I didn't madly fancy him, it meant I could relax a bit more.It didn't seem as important as it might have done.I could just do what he told me and weirdly that was kind of easier.I think I mean, it wasn't easy really, but While we were doing it I can't believe I'm telling you all this.I had a real coffee earlier.I think it's kicking in.There was a moment where I was thinking, "Two hours ago I was outside Parliament "and they were saying I wasn't allowed to do this," and that made me laugh, and that turned him on because I think he thought it meant I was getting into it, and I was getting into it, but not because of Not just because of him.I was thinking about all the tossers who'd opposed it, opposed me, and I was thinking, "If you could fucking see me now." You know, fucking And that felt great.Oh, I felt great.You know, who'd have predicted I'd spent my first time thinking about Lady Olga Maitland and Sir Nicholas fucking Fairburn.I doubt anyone's ever thought about them while they're doing it before, including the people they're doing it with, if they do ever do it, the desiccated twats.I wasn't dwelling on them.I'm not a pervert.But it did give it a A frisson.HE CLEARS HIS THROA I've never said frisson before.I've only ever seen it written down.That's one of those words, you know, like hyperbole.And then, after, he turned the light off and he held me while he fell asleep and ..all I could think was .."I hope Mum and Dad weren't watching the TV news," because At one point, when we surged towards the doors of the Commons, that's when I'd seen the cameras.They had these big lights on the top of them, the cameras.You know, like spotlights, because it was dark, obviously.I'd been trying to stay behind this big bloke in front of me so I wouldn't be seen, but he moved out of the way just at the same moment that one of them swung round and I know it got me full in the face.If that's been on the News at Ten, I'm dead.So that's why I wondered if you'd seen it.Well, I'll find out later today, you know, when I get back.I mean, I was thinking about him as well, you know, Marcus.I was thinking, "He could get in trouble for this," but But then I thought, "Yeah, but who's going to say anything?" I mean, who is? Who really cares? Quite dry, aren't they, falafels? My friend Elisa, she's a vegetarian.I mean, not just a vegetarian, she's quite fussy as well, you know, fries everything in water.She's got this Futon? No, tofu, instead of chicken.Have you tried it? I had some once.I wouldn't go mad.It's not really a substitute.He's got his hand on his leg now.Those two blokes.It's just nice to see.You know, Nottingham, there's nothing.Gatsby's, MGM the first Monday of every month.But, here Well, it's not lunchtime yet.My two hopes are that there won't be much coverage of it and that's a good bet, and that it won't be on at all, or that they will only show one or two seconds so I'll be really unlucky if I'm on it, or that Mum and Dad weren't watching last night.Or that they were watching and I was on it but they didn't see me because they won't be looking for me.They won't be expecting me to be on it.They'll think I stayed around Sean's last night.I'm kind of looking forward to telling him about it, Sean.I think I'll feel a bit better around him now.You know, it was good fun.It's funny, isn't it? Because if they'd said yes, if they had made it 16 ..then I'd have gone straight home.< Previous EpisodeNext Episode > Queers. s01e02 Episode ScriptA Grand Day OutThere's a vegetarian restaurant round the corner.You know, just round A couple of streets from here.Does completely veggie.I had a falafel.It was nice.It was OK.Did you see the news on telly last night? No, just wondered.There were some bits in the papers, I checked in WH Smiths.Tiny, you know, but that's not what I'm So, you didn't see News at Ten, no? No.Ah, shit.Oh, well.Two fellas over there.Can you believe they voted no? Can you believe it? I couldn't believe it.Yeah, well, not No, I know, but 18.You know, it's almost worse than if they'd kept it at 21.There would be some honesty in that.We hate you and, you know, piss off.At least that would have been consistent but, yeah, we'll make you slightly more equal.Yeah, well, big wow! Of course it's better, I know that, of course it is.But, well, it's just It's 1994! You know, Jesus! That's what this fella said last night.He said it was good and that things were changing but it just makes you I don't want to be tolerated, you know? I've got a bit of falafel in me teeth.It's impressive when you see it.The House of Commons.Have you been? It's bigger than it looks on telly.I just come down on my own.I wasn't planning to.I hadn't thought of it, really.I mean, I knew the vote was coming up, the reading of the bill.I've been following it, but Then it was on the front page that morning that Derek Jarman had died and, erm You know, not like it was a sign or anything, I don't believe in all that, but I just thought "Sod it.I should go." You know, show them that we count.You know, we do exist.It does matter, the things they're talking about, so I mean, I'm not a big fan or anything.I just knew he was important, Jarman.I've seen his version of The Tempest.It was the first thing I saw at the arthouse cinema back home.I never even knew they were a thing.And I taped Blue off Channel 4 a couple of months back.I haven't watched it yet.That's been the best thing about sixth form, is discovering things like that.No-one at my old school would ever have gone to something like that.Morons.There was this lad in my year, Darren Hardcastle.Daz.All he'd talk about was wanking.You know, he was obsessed.It's all he went on about.And if he wasn't banging on about wanking, he was punching people.Wanking or punching.And I used to think, "This is what prison must be like."This is like1984." I couldn't wait to leave.I ran from that place.Well, metaphorically.Well, literally.They arranged a scrap with the comp across the field.I hated it.We were outside for hours last night, shifting around, trying to keep warm.Most people were in groups, actually.I don't know if they were friends or from, you know, Stonewall, that kind of thing.There were some banners and signs and people had candles.You needed candles because of how bloody cold it was, I'm telling you.Flipping heck! And there was a weird mix of excitement because of what it was and boredom because it took ages.And this lad looked at me a few times while I was there.I saw him looking.Caught his eye.Looked back.He was You know, he was lovely.I can be a bit shy.And then finally someone come out, must have said it had been done, whatever time it was, late, come out of the House of Commons.I couldn't see who they were and then you heard everyone starting to boo and you think, "Oh" You know, because we'd been there for so long because Well, I don't know how many people there were, but enough.You know, 200.Enough for it to feel like You know, because I'm used to being on my own.I don't know anyone else who's gay.And last night, there were loads of us, and we're nice, you know, I was looking round and I was thinking, "These are nice people." And so you start to think, well, of course they'll vote the right way.Why wouldn't they? What would be the point in not? You start getting carried away with reason.And I know you shouldn't do that.And so this bloke come out and he must have said they voted 18 and everyone started to boo cos I think we had all convinced ourselves it was going to be 16, you know, it was going to be equal, so it was like a It was like a kick in the teeth.And then we all sort of surged towards the Commons, towards the doors he had come out of.It just happened and police were there, a couple on horses, that kind of thing and And people are chanting and shouting and just sort of, you know, pissed off, you know, and there is a bit of a scuffle and I did think, just for a moment, "Is this?" Because a policeman's helmet landed at my feet.Yeah, but it was nothing really, and then someone shouted, "Let's go to Downing Street," and so we all marched up there and there was some shouting outside the gates for a bit and then we all went up to Trafalgar Square and a group of people started sitting in the road to block the traffic and Well, you go along with it, but I did feel a bit You know, self-conscious, I suppose.You know, but also, like You know, because I was pissed off, too, and the police were getting a bit Well, not mardy but It was late.I think we could all tell it had run out of steam but we were angry.That's the point.And so what do you do? So we did that for, you know ..ten minutes.Then everyone went home.And then you read this morning that there were scuffles between police and a minority out to cause trouble.And there was no minority out to cause trouble, it was sopiddly.There was a bit of shoving and a bit of shouting and that's all.But to read the papers, the bit there is, you'd think it was a kind of riot.That's kind of interesting, the distortion.I've never been a part of something that's been reported before.We were all just fed up.And so I'd missed my train by this point and this fella, Marcus, that I'd been sitting in the road with, he asked if I wanted to go back to his and I thought Well, you know, but what do you do? I had nowhere to go, and so I did.That's his name, Marcus.Of course it is, sorry."Mar-cous".We went back to his, his flat, and it was You know, I mean, it was fine.It was a bit Not It was OK.I think I'd thought, and I mean, this is stupid, I know it is, but I think I'd thought people in London London is just a place, isn't it? Like any other.I suppose you think, London You know, I don't mean to sound snobby.It's not snobby.I'm not a snob.My mate Sean is proper bourgeois, though he'd have you believe he's working class because his dad, I don't know, once drained a radiator or something, but I remember his face when I told him we had our tea on our laps on Sunday watching Bullseye, so I'm not ..you know, posh.Anyway, he was asking what I did, Marcus, and I told him I was a student and he said he worked for the BBC in accounts, so that's interesting, isn't it? Kind of.And I'd said from the start that I just needed a place to stay until I could get a train home in the morning and he said that was OK.I was giving off the right vibes, I think, so Yeah, it was cool.He's a lot older than me.He's 30, but he was You know, nice.He made us some toast and put the heat on, so it was fine.He had this jam that's made without any sugar.And we talked a bit.He said he'd been on a few marches and things.You know, not just gay, but other stuff.Poll tax, and You know, so it was interesting.We talked about last night and called them bastards and put the What is it? Put the world to rights.And then he said, "Well, at least that means you're legal now." You know, because I'm 18.I mean, I'm actually 17 but I'd told him I was 18 because I thought 17 sounded a bit young.That's stupid, isn't it? And I think when he said that, I thought "Right" You know? I just kind of laughed it off and then he said he should go to bed and he went to get some bedding for me for the sofa and I think he thought I was a virgin, which I'm not, but I mean Well, I'm not not a virgin.But when he came back in the living room with the bedding ..he was starkers and I thought "Blimey!" You know, but then I thought, maybe that's just what he does.Sean, my mate, sleeps in the nude.It never occurred to me that was a thing you could do until I stopped round his.Well, a lot hadn't occurred to me until I stopped round his.But anyway, so I was sitting down on the sofa and he dropped the duvet and pillows next to me.The duvet didn't have a cover on it.The things that go through your head! You know, I thought, "Mum would never give someone a duvet "without a cover on it." So then, he was there You know, "Hello, boys!" So I'm kind of And then he reached his hand out and he stroked the back of my head, just softly, and that was actually quite nice.That sounds pathetic, doesn't it? I'm not an idiot, I knew what Well, you know, cards were on the table, but I thought, he's letting me stay over and he's not Well, he's quite nice, you know, looking, I mean.He's all right.He's not Kristian Schmidt, but So I put him in my mouth.And that seemed to go down well.And then a minute or two later he stood me up and he kissed me and I thought, "Right, I've got to decide now, "you know, if I'm not up for this, "I've kind of got to say something now "because you don't want to be rude." But I didn't say anything and so he led me through into his bedroom and he said, "Is this all right?" And genuinely, for a split second, I thought he was asking about his room, and I did think, "Well, now we know what Athena does with its remaindered stock." But he had my top off by that point and I felt kind of separate to it, like I was watching myself, you know, like Brecht - verfremdungseffekt.And I was kind of talking to myself, saying, "Is this all right? Is this OK?" You know, keeping calm.In my head, not No, I think that might have put him off.But it was just nice not to be rushed because I suppose everything I've done up till now has been at parties with lads from college who Well, you've got to sort of take advantage of the moment.I say lads, it makes it sound like there's hundreds of them, there's not, believe me, really just me and Well, just me and Jamie Flynn, I suppose.And Sean.We Not, not regularly, you know, not If he's drunk and in the right mood, and I kind of know how to be in the right place at the right time, but Well, it's an art more than it is a science and you've either got one eye on the door or worse, you've got to kind of prep yourself in case he loses the mood or after decides it didn't happen.I don't mean nasty, but just So it was really the first time it felt legitimate doing anything - you know, with an accountant! I didn't have a clue what I was doing, I'll be honest, but Well, he didn't You know, he was nice, patient.He kept talking to me and checking I was OK.I almost wished he wouldn't.I almost wanted him to just go for it.Almost.And I think, weirdly, and this feels weird now I come to think about it, but I think because I didn't madly fancy him, it meant I could relax a bit more.It didn't seem as important as it might have done.I could just do what he told me and weirdly that was kind of easier.I think I mean, it wasn't easy really, but While we were doing it I can't believe I'm telling you all this.I had a real coffee earlier.I think it's kicking in.There was a moment where I was thinking, "Two hours ago I was outside Parliament "and they were saying I wasn't allowed to do this," and that made me laugh, and that turned him on because I think he thought it meant I was getting into it, and I was getting into it, but not because of Not just because of him.I was thinking about all the tossers who'd opposed it, opposed me, and I was thinking, "If you could fucking see me now." You know, fucking And that felt great.Oh, I felt great.You know, who'd have predicted I'd spent my first time thinking about Lady Olga Maitland and Sir Nicholas fucking Fairburn.I doubt anyone's ever thought about them while they're doing it before, including the people they're doing it with, if they do ever do it, the desiccated twats.I wasn't dwelling on them.I'm not a pervert.But it did give it a A frisson.HE CLEARS HIS THROA I've never said frisson before.I've only ever seen it written down.That's one of those words, you know, like hyperbole.And then, after, he turned the light off and he held me while he fell asleep and ..all I could think was .."I hope Mum and Dad weren't watching the TV news," because At one point, when we surged towards the doors of the Commons, that's when I'd seen the cameras.They had these big lights on the top of them, the cameras.You know, like spotlights, because it was dark, obviously.I'd been trying to stay behind this big bloke in front of me so I wouldn't be seen, but he moved out of the way just at the same moment that one of them swung round and I know it got me full in the face.If that's been on the News at Ten, I'm dead.So that's why I wondered if you'd seen it.Well, I'll find out later today, you know, when I get back.I mean, I was thinking about him as well, you know, Marcus.I was thinking, "He could get in trouble for this," but But then I thought, "Yeah, but who's going to say anything?" I mean, who is? Who really cares? Quite dry, aren't they, falafels? My friend Elisa, she's a vegetarian.I mean, not just a vegetarian, she's quite fussy as well, you know, fries everything in water.She's got this Futon? No, tofu, instead of chicken.Have you tried it? I had some once.I wouldn't go mad.It's not really a substitute.He's got his hand on his leg now.Those two blokes.It's just nice to see.You know, Nottingham, there's nothing.Gatsby's, MGM the first Monday of every month.But, here Well, it's not lunchtime yet.My two hopes are that there won't be much coverage of it and that's a good bet, and that it won't be on at all, or that they will only show one or two seconds so I'll be really unlucky if I'm on it, or that Mum and Dad weren't watching last night.Or that they were watching and I was on it but they didn't see me because they won't be looking for me.They won't be expecting me to be on it.They'll think I stayed around Sean's last night.I'm kind of looking forward to telling him about it, Sean.I think I'll feel a bit better around him now.You know, it was good fun.It's funny, isn't it? Because if they'd said yes, if they had made it 16 ..then I'd have gone straight home.< Previous EpisodeNext Episode >

初看完这部腐国带着回顾自己国家百年来酷儿在各个重要节点的生存状态的剧，倍感兴奋与惊讶。

一直以来，英国在戏剧方面厚重的历史传统使得这个国家在表现任何议题的时候都不会让人失望，近些年来每一部制作精良的反应性少数群体的剧都无不带着先锋性和血脉喷张式的颠覆性，来挑战权威话语，来讴歌多样，来讽刺老旧，来鼓励创新。

《酷儿们》是部充分吸收传统后极具实验性光芒的、富有政治性议程的剧。

独白，这一在各种戏剧中都会用到但在极少情况下才会大面积使用的形式，却为这部剧、为酷儿们完成了极具生命力的呈现。

回顾莎翁的戏剧，独白总会在人物面临道德选择与人性矛盾挣扎的时候登场，灯光昏暗，时间静止，人物直接与自己对话，与观众对话——拷问，纠结，惶恐，畏惧，癫狂，无奈——独白用着最朴素的形式与装束，担负着最有感染力与表现力的使命：在麦克白杀害生灵后对人生的无意义进行反思时，在李尔王面临众亲抛弃颠沛流离时，在理查三世因为自己的畸形而被嫌弃表现自己的愤恨与不得志时，在苔丝狄蒙娜为女性的地位深感不公时，独白便上场了，一整段的心理倾诉与告白，裹挟着汹涌的穿透力与共情力，让观众看到了独白者多面的内心世界，有时还会呈现出与这些角色之前舞台上的通过动作和其他对话所表现出的性格特征所不太相同的心理活动。

是的，我想《酷儿们》敢于使用如此简单质朴却又富有力量的形式，在某种程度上是因为独白在表现复杂人性方面的优势：就像听一个老朋友对于一段感情的描述，就像一个在听陌生人将他身上的幸与不幸，也就像在听我们自己的现在、过去亦或是未来。

在接受这样的独白时，我们或者开门见山，或者迂回萦绕，不需要剧情的推动，不需要特效的辅助，不需要配乐的升华。

我们所接受的，只有文字和分享所带来的感染力。

这样的面对面，虽然在这样的时代容易被理解成无聊，但总保留着一份难得的真诚与贴近。

所以，这八个人的讲述中，除了带有点醒主题式的语言外，我觉得最有感染力的部分便是他们对于生活和感情中细节的回忆与描述。

这样的感染力，通过镜头语言当然可以完成，但这样面对面式的独白，完成的是人与人之间最简单也是最重要的一种沟通形式。

这种形式，提供了进一步理解的通道。

酷儿们的生活，才会得到更温情的展现。

是的，独白可以在某种程度上更好地体现人的复杂性，但我们在倾听他人讲故事的时候，永远不是被动接受，也永远不可能全盘接受，而是在这样的倾诉与接收之间，告知与被告知之间，灰色地带总会存在——他说的是真话吗？

我一定要相信他吗？

他在讲这些事情的时候，主观的角度是否让他变得偏激与不实？

他所流的泪是否是真的？

他的倾盆而出又有何目的？

换句话，任何讲述者都或多或少带着一些“不可靠性”。

我想，写到这里，有些人或许会讲，独白的真诚与“不可靠性”，这样的矛盾岂不是在削弱着这部剧的艺术性？

我的理解是，正是由于独白自身的矛盾性，这部剧才更加适合体现那一个个矛盾的“酷儿们”。

就像这部剧第三集小狼的叙述一样，酷儿们在文艺作品的展现实在容易被“程式化”、“固态化”、“政治正确化”，类似的情节，类似的人物安排，类似的角色命运使得“酷儿们”这一特殊的群体在某些时候总以一个特定的面呈现出来。

反而那些留守在话语中心的人，非酷儿们，“主流”人士们，却不断地在用新手法、新情景、新情节、新性格来展现。

记得《卫报》在点评前几年的性少数戏剧《香蕉》、《黄瓜》和《豆腐》时，也总在强调我们需要更多gay drama的必要性——只有更多，才能有更丰富的角色塑造的可能；只有直面问题，才能有解决问题的可能。

因而，在某种程度上，“独白”也是在为酷儿们争取一个站在中心当作讲述者的位置，在这个位置上，人性的复杂可以得到更加淋漓尽致的体现，酷儿们也可以有机会变得自相矛盾。

而这样的自相矛盾，不正是一种有血有肉，不正是一种你我共有的存在体征吗那当我们谈论酷儿的时候，我们到底在谈论些什么？

我们在讨论酷儿们在文艺作品中的展现需要多样化（所以本部剧先锋性了用了独白的形式来丰富酷儿们的呈现），我们在讨论性取向与阶级、种族、国籍、性别等各个变量之间的互动关系（所以我们在本部剧里看到了不同的年龄、性别、种族、阶级的讲述者），我们在讨论酷儿们的平权历史，我们在讨论酷儿们首先作为一个鲜活、也有弱点、也有偏颇、也会傲娇、也会无力与恐惧的人会是什么样子……这样的讨论，没有终结。

也不该有终结。

所以，我们在看这部剧的时候，会时常感到困惑与不解，似乎没有一个清晰的主线，似乎没有一个十分明亮的信息，似乎没有一个主旋律。

因为酷儿理论的代表人物Judith Butler曾在性别麻烦一书中用非常哲学化的语言说过，当不合此时常规的性别特征和呈现被操演许多次时，不合常规与合常规的界限便已经开始模糊化，人们就会发现所谓的“常规”只是一种幻想式的存在，没有实质性的存在。

因而，《酷儿们》这部剧所想要实现的讨论，我觉得是带着“永不清晰”、“永不终结”的美感的。

只有这样永不停息的操演与讨论，常规才会开始失去压抑的力量。

平权才会有实现的可能。

所以，回到《酷儿们》这部剧，它就是在用一种先锋式的手段完成着一次属于酷儿们的“操演”，在当下强调大制作、大画面、大冲突的文艺作品制作理念下，它用朴实的独白将观众带回英国典雅的酒吧里，静静地，听那些人，微微醉着，讲属于他们自己的故事。

ps.题外话。

其实看完这部剧，内心得到的慰藉很大。

这个剧表现了英国这个国家用了一个世纪所实现的东西，其实在侧面也在讲述，任何权利的实现，都不是一蹴而就的。

这需要许多人流泪流血甚至付出生命。

回看中国，我们似乎仍然经历得有些少。

这条路对于我们真的还很长，但我觉得没关系，我相信在未来的某个日子，也会有像《酷儿们》这样的剧，讲述着我们这代人的故事。

这样一想，真的宽慰了不少。

GENTLE PIANO MUSICBUZZ OF CHATTER……Douglas Fairbanks there thinks he's in with a chance.道格拉斯•费尔班克斯觉得他有机会了。

A bit of company on a wet Friday night.在潮湿的周五晚上有人陪了。

Except old Dougie doesn't have a cast in his eye and a built-up shoe.但是老道格可没有那种眼神，也没双厚底鞋。

At least, not last time I was at the flickers.至少，上一次视线相撞的时候我没看到。

It's always the eyes.总是靠眼神，That's how you know.靠眼神就能知道。

A glance held just that little bit too long,那一瞥延续了有点长，dragged off to one side, like the trail of a Very light in the dark.然后才转向另一侧，像是黑夜里划过一束光。

After the do, the, um, interview...一般程序过后，到了单独提审，..the officer asks me, not unkindly, I must say, "So how do you chaps,那个军官问我（还算友好，我得承认），“像你，"chaps like you and the captain, know one another?"你和上尉这种人，怎么认识的？

”So I told him.于是我就告诉他。

Not my words, something somebody said to me once.——不是用我自己的话，是曾有人对我说过的句子——"A certain liquidity of the eye."“一瞬流光的眼神。

”That's how HE knew.他，就是这样知道的。

My eyes are bad, mind you.告诉你，那时候我的视力很差，Too bad for shooting Prussians at any rate,差到无论如何都射不中普鲁士人。

so I was shunted onto hospital work.因此我被派去医院工作。

"Cushy", says Sam.“轻松的活啊。

”山姆说，"That's a charabanc holiday, Perce.“简直是观光度假啊，佩尔斯。

” "You always wanted to see France, didn't you?"“你一直想去看看法国，对吧？

”I remember my first day in resus - the resuscitation tent.我记得在复营——复苏营的第一天，That's where they take the dying or the nearly dying那是他们安置死去或者将死的人，and the shocked ones.还有受创者的地方。

There's heated beds to put some life back into them, and transfusions.那儿有温暖的床铺给他们些活着的感觉，还有输液。

Our guns were going hell for leather.我们的枪一通扫射，The sky was all lit up - powdery, green.整片天空都被点亮了——粉末到处飞，看到的全是绿色，Horrible green.可怕的绿色。

Like the air was sick.好像空气病了。

Star shells, Verys, dumps going up.照明弹，信号弹和垃圾都炸飞了。

And then the ambulances come in and we have to ferry them in,然后救护车来了，我们得抬他们进去，the ones that can't walk.车里不能走路的那些人。

And they've got these labels on them他们身上都贴了标签，that tell you what's wrong with them.上面写着他们有什么毛病。

Like left luggage.好像在寄存行李一样。

Have you ever carried a stretcher?你抬过担架吗？

Bloody horrible.简直太吓人了，You feel like your arms are going to pop out of their sockets.感觉手臂要脱臼了一样。

Some chaps can get very heavy.有些人就是特别重。

Those that can walk into the hospital...那些能走进医院的人..are covered in mud and salt sweat.浑身都是泥巴和汗Caked in it.全粘在上面，All stiff and cracked, like moving statues,他们都身体僵硬，又有骨折，像是会动的雕像， like those poor fuckers in Pompeii what got covered in lava.像是庞贝城里被岩浆掩埋的可怜人。

I've seen photographs of them in the lending library.我在图书馆看过拍他们的照片。

And then, in the resus tent, a thing you'd never expect.在复苏营里，有一样东西你绝对猜不到——Silence.寂静。

Not a moan or a groan.没有一声抱怨或呻吟，They're beyond all that, I suppose, most of them.他们大多数人的痛苦已经超过这种程度了吧，我猜。

Smoking, breathing, just about.抽烟，喘息，就只有这些。

Mind you, I've seen what a transfusion can do不过，我见过输液的功效，and it is a bloody miracle.简直是奇迹。

Lads with one foot in the grave and their pulses all thready,那些脉搏微弱，一只脚都踏进坟墓的人，they have the transfusion, they're up, they're joking,一经输液，就能站起来，还能开玩笑，they're having a smoke in a couple of hours.几小时后还能抽上烟。

I said to Captain Leslie, I said, "You wouldn't credit it, would you?我对莱斯利上尉说，我说：“你不会相信的，是吧？

”"It's like... It's like witchcraft."“那就像，就像是巫术。

”"Sounds about right", he says,“听起来很好，”他说，"since we're in hell."“既然我们都在地狱里。

”But he says it with a smile and when he does that但他是笑着说的，当他笑着的时候，there's these creases in his cheeks like ripples in the sand.脸颊上的皱纹就像沙漠里的涟漪。

"You're a credit to this unit, Percy", he says to me.“你让这个小队有了保障，佩尔斯”，他跟我说，"You've all the tenderness of a woman."“你有着女人一样的细心。

”And he shakes my hand.接着他握了我的手。

"It's Terrence," he says and I says, "What is?"“泰伦斯，”他说，我没反应过来：“什么？

”He says, "Me.他说，“我，"My name. Terence Lesley.“我的名字，泰伦斯•莱斯利，"Do call me Terence.“就叫我泰伦斯，"I can't bear all this formal rot."“我受不了太正式。

”But he's an officer and it don't seem right, so,但他是个长官，这样似乎不太好，所以"I'll stick to Captain Leslie," I say, "if it's all the same."“我还是叫你莱斯利上尉吧，”我说，“反正都是一样的。

”He just smiles again and shrugs.他又微笑了接着耸了耸肩。

And his eyelashes are long.他的睫毛很长，Long and blonde.长，而且是金黄色。

I can't see much of his hair cos it's under his cap,我不能看到他太多头发，因为他戴了帽子。

but then one day I'm bringing in a stretcher...但有一天，我正在搬着担架，..and he takes his hat off and, just like that, his hair tumbles out.看到他脱下帽子，他的头发就那样露出来，Yellow as corn.玉米一样的金黄色。

And I must have stared because he grins at me我当时一定是盯着他的，因为他朝我咧嘴笑了，and pushes his hair out of his eyes and says,然后他拨开眼睛前的头发对我说："Come along, Perce,."“快点，佩尔斯，赶紧跟上。

”But I don't move.但我没动，And just for a bit...就一会儿……Well, like I say, held just a...像我说的，就是，just a moment too long.就是很长的一会儿。

Douglas Fairbanks over there will give me a wink in a minute.道格拉斯•费尔班克斯一会儿就要给我使眼色了。

There you go.来了。

HE SIGHS KNOWINGLYI've always been a skinny bugger, me.我一直是个瘦弱的家伙，Thin as a whip, Mother says.我妈说我瘦得像根鞭子，Father was the same.爸爸也是这样。

Mother always had a bit more beef on her after she had Albert and me,生下我和阿尔伯特在之后，妈总是随身带着点牛肉，and there was one before us.在我俩之前还有一个，A boy.一个男孩。

But he died.但他没活下来。

He was called Percy, an' all.他也叫佩尔斯。

Poison berries. Never think a thing like that can happen, but it does.是浆果中毒。

从没想过会发生这种事，但就是发生了。

I can remember Mother showing me the pictures in the medicine book,我还记得妈妈给我看医书上的图片，all shiny and glossy pictures like Jesus in the book at Sunday School.所有的图都闪闪发亮，像主日学校课本里面的耶稣。

And little Percy had grabbed a handful of these berries and...小佩尔斯抓了一把浆果吃然后……..that was that.就那样了。

Box, I think, the berries.一盒，我觉得，应该是一盒浆果，Black, like little bullets.黑色的，像小小子弹，Like liquorice sweeties.像甘草糖。

Maybe that's what little Percy thought they was.也许小佩尔斯以为就是那些东西。

Anyway, they done for him and then, a year or so after that,总之，他们料理完他的后事，大概一年时间吧，along comes I and they call me Percy, too.我出生了，他们也叫我佩尔斯。

A bit odd, some might say, a bit morbid,有点奇怪，有的人可能觉得病态，but Mother always said that she could see him in me.但母亲总是说她能在我身上看到他。

And she looks so funny when she says that to me...她对我说那些的时候看起来有些奇怪，..and she looks so sad.也有些悲伤。

But I don't think it's just because of little Percy because there was着不仅是因为小佩尔斯，而是因为another time she looked at me the same way.她又一次用同样的方式看我。

It was freezing, I remember that.当时很冷，我记得，We was waiting for a train.我们在等火车，Dad had some business in Reading, I forget what it was.爸爸要去雷丁谈生意，我忘了什么生意，We were to come with and make a day of it.我们一起去一整天。

I was 15, thereabouts.我大概十五岁，Albert was 12. I'd been dispatched in search of tea and buns.阿尔伯特十二岁。

我被叫去买茶和面包。

They all sat in the waiting room, steam coming off them like wet dogs.他们都坐在候车室里，不停地呼气，像热坏了的狗。

Anyway, I'm on my way to the refreshments总之，我在去买茶点的路上。

and there's a commotion, so I think, "Oh, the train must be coming in,"突然有一阵骚动，我想着“啊，肯定是火车要来了”so I say to the girl behind the tea stall,所以我对茶摊后的女孩说，pretty girl I remember with bows in her hair,我记得她很漂亮，头发上绑着蝴蝶结。

I ask her to get a shift on.我让她快点给我泡茶。

She says, "What's the hurry? The Reading train isn't in for another她说：“急什么？

去雷丁的那趟在一刻钟之内不会来的。

”"quarter of an hour." So I think, "What's all the fuss about, then?"所以我想，“那些人都在大惊小怪些什么？

”And then I see it ahead of me on the platform.然后我看见就在我前面的站台上Policemen, at least I think they're policemen,有一群警察，至少我觉得是警察，but then I look properly and they're not, they're from the jail.但我仔细看了之后发现，不是，他们是从监狱里来的！

Dark uniforms, little hats with shiny brims.全黑的制服，帽檐闪亮。

And between them,在他们之间，well, a...a prisoner...有一个，嗯，囚犯..waiting to be taken away, I suppose.应该是等着被带走。

And it's not the first time I've seen as such.我不是第一次见这种场景，I used to see them a lot, poor bastards,我见过很多次，可怜虫们，shuffling along in their chains and the arrows on their clothes.带着锁链拖着腿走路，衣服上面还有小尖刺。

And it's rough clobber, like to make you itch, worse than this.那种东西粗糙得很，让你感觉很痒，比我的衣服还糙。

So, "Why are all these folk whispering and pointing?" I wonder.我很奇怪：“为什么这些人都在咬着耳朵指指点点？

”So I look at the chap in the chains and he's a big chap,于是我看向被铐起来的那家伙，他块头很大。

sort of like a big bear of a fella.像头熊一样壮实，With a big slack, pouchy face.还有这一张松弛的下垂的大脸。

Fat-ish, except it's all sunk in now,有点胖，只是都陷下去了。

and his hair, which was most likely black as your hat而他的头发，以前可能和你的帽子一样黑，is now shot through with grey.现在却夹杂着灰色。

And he looks wretched.他看起来很不好。

As well he might. There's rain dripping off his hair不过也难怪，雨水从他的头发上滴落，and down the creases in his big face.顺着脸上的褶皱流下来。

And then I realise, it's not just rain, he's bloody crying.突然我意识到，那不仅是雨水，他在哭啊！

And then he looks at me.然后他看向我，And there it was.就是那样，In that moment...在那一瞬间，..a certain liquidity of the eye.……一瞬流光的眼神。

And then he looks back down at his boots...然后他低头去看他的靴子，and it's as if the whole world has come tumbling down around him.就好像他周围的世界全都崩塌了。

I stand there.我站在那， And I think,我想，"He knows me.“他知道我了，"He knows me for what I am.“他知道我本来的样子了，"He can see it in me."“他能看穿我。

”And I start to shake.我开始发抖，And it's not from the cold, it's shame.不是因为冷，而是羞耻，And fear and...害怕，..terror.还有恐怖。

And someone starts laughing.人群开始大笑，And there's a little girl and she's wandered close to the prisoner.一个小女孩，她走近囚犯，She's got a little wooden horse on a dirty bit of string.她用一根脏兮兮的线牵着一只小木马。

And then her mother goes up and drags the girl away from the man他的母亲走上前去一把将小女孩从囚犯身边拉回去，as if he were like to eat her up.好像他会吃了她似的。

And then I hear it, a name.然后我听到了，一个名字，Whispered behind fancy gloves是从那些精致的手套，and November hands what are stiff with cold.和十一月里冻僵了的手后面传来的低语，"It's him, isn't it?"“就是他，是吧？

”And suddenly Dad's beside me and he's gripping my arm and he says,忽然爸爸从身后抓住我的手臂，说，"You all right, Perce?"“没事吧，佩尔斯？

”And he's proper worried.他很担心。

And there's a sort of ringing noise in my ear and I feel for a moment那时我的耳朵里全是蜂鸣声，有一瞬间我感觉like I might faint, but then this chap goes straight up我可能要晕过去了，然后有人径直走向了to the prisoner on the platform and he...站台上那个囚犯，然后He spits in his face.朝囚犯的脸上吐口水。

And Dad looked shocked.爸爸很震惊，And just then, the train comes puffing into the station,就这时候，火车进站了，steam everywhere.到处都是蒸汽。

And I look back to the prisoner,我回头看那个囚犯，but he's covered now in a great big cloud of steam.但他被一团蒸汽笼罩着。

Dad picks up the tea and the buns and he gets us into the carriage.爸爸拿起茶和面包带我们走进了车厢。

It smells of damp wool and musty, like church,那里面有种湿羊毛和发霉的味道，就像教堂里一样。

and there's little beads of rain on the window, the open window.打开的窗户上有些小水珠，And Mum pulls down the leather strap and the sound sort of...妈妈拉下皮绳，那种声音..snaps me out of it.把我拉回了现实。

"What was all that fuss about there, Clem?"“那里在吵嚷些什么，克莱姆？

”And Dad sups at his tea and it hangs in little drops from the ends of his爸爸啜着茶，有几滴顺着他的胡子流下来。

Kitchener 'tashe. "You won't believe it," he says.“你不会相信的，”他说，"Out there on the platform, waiting to be taken to prison..."“就在外面的站台上，有个人等着被带到监狱去……”"Who?" pipes up Albert.“谁啊”，阿尔伯特问。

And he looks at us and he shakes his head in wonder.他看着我们，纳闷地摇着头，"Oscar Wilde!" he says.“奥斯卡•王尔德！

”他说。

And then Mum looks at me.然后妈妈看着我，Tender, like...很温柔地，像是……I've never had the nerve.我从没敢告诉她。

That's the thing, I suppose.这才是关键。

A notion of getting in trouble or being a bother...一想到会惹上麻烦或者成为累赘，I could always imagine Mother's face我就总是想到if she found out I'd been up to things.如果妈妈知道了我到底是什么人时的脸色。

And I couldn't bear it, I couldn't bear to disappoint, so我受不了这样，我不想让她失望，所以，I didn't, I didn't do anything about it.我没说，我什么都没做过。

Not even a tuppeny wank with Sam or nothing.连给山姆打飞机都没有。

I kept my own counsel, as they say.我有自己的想法，就像他们说的。

Also, there was a girl who was sweet on me.而且，有个姑娘曾经喜欢我。

Annie.安妮。

And that sort of stopped people asking, I suppose.那应该能平息那些风言风语，We courted for a long while,我们在一起很长时间，but she got fed up because I never asked her to marry me.但我一直没求婚，所以她受够了，I took on like Annie had broke my heart and then,我对外的说法是安妮伤了我的心，what with one thing or another and then the war, it sort of, somehow,然后事情一件接着一件，战争又来了，然后，不知怎么的，I got away with it. A lot of questions, of course.我就摆脱了这件事。

当然啦，还是有很多问题，Especially when all us Tommies were billeted together特别是所有英军士兵第一次被安排住处时。

for the first time. "You married?" "No."“你结婚了吗？

”“没有。

”"You got a girl?" "Well, I used to."“有女朋友吗？

”“嗯，以前有。

”And then one day, in Amiens, there was a sort of lull.有一天，我们在亚眠停休，Hot as hell it was.天气热得要死，Not what you think. People think of all that mud and rain,不是你们想的那些，人们总是想着泥浆和雨水，but we was there the live long year但是我们在那儿待了一年，and sometimes it was hot and parched.有时候又热又干，Fucking flies everywhere.该死的蚊子到处都是。

Blue and green bellies on them. Fat.它们的肚子又蓝又绿，而且很大。

Great clouds of them because of the dead bodies.它们成群结队地围绕尸体。

And Captain Leslie comes up to me莱斯利上尉来找我，and he slaps me on the shoulder and he says,轻拍我的肩说，"Come along, Perce, we're going hunting."“来吧，佩尔斯，我们去打猎。

”And I say, "What?" He says, "Butterflies",我说：“什么？

”他回答，“捉蝴蝶。

”because we're camped on this sort of downland.因为我们驻扎在一片丘陵上，And there's marigolds and poppies all over, little splashes of colour.到处都是金盏花和罂粟花，五彩的斑点。

I can still taste the dust.我至今还能感受到那尘土的味道，Chalky in your mouth and your hair and...在你的嘴巴里，头发上，..on the Dunlop tyres like white paint,还有邓禄普轮胎上面，像是刷了白色的漆。

because Terrence had only gone and got us bicycles, the silly bugger.因为泰伦斯去给我们弄了辆自行车，那个蠢货。

And it was only for a few hours去那儿只花了几个小时，but you could forget, you know, for a bit,但是你能暂时地忘掉，你知道的，everything that was going on.周围所有的事情。

And we came to this sort of lake.我们来到了一个像是湖边的地方。

It was a crater hole, I suppose,应该是陨石坑，我觉得，and the water was glass green and clear like a perfume bottle.水面碧绿纯净，像个香水瓶子。

And Terence, he starts hollering and rattling the bike down to the water泰伦斯一边叫着，一边踩着单车朝水边冲去，and he pulls off all his clothes and in he goes.他脱掉了所有衣服跳了进去，I follows, and then we go splashing about in our birthday suits.我也跳了进去，我们像孩子一样赤裸着在水里打闹，And he's brick red from the sunshine,他的皮肤在太阳照耀下变成砖红色，but not where his shirt's been,但他穿过衣服的地方没有，so he's got this sort of red face and arms, and the rest of him is...所以他的脸和手臂是红的，其余的部分，He's like a ghost.白得像鬼一样。

And after we've swum about,我们游了一会儿，we just lie in the grass and fall asleep.就在草坪上睡着了。

You can hear the buzz of the flies, but they are way off能听到苍蝇的嗡嗡声，但它们离得很远，and some of the ones that are closer are butterflies,离得近的是蝴蝶，so that's all right, and I just...所以没关系，我就……..lie there and I watch Terence sleeping and...躺在那儿，看着泰伦斯睡觉，..his Adam's apple bobbing up and down.他的喉结上下起伏，And his hair is golden.他的头发金灿灿的，And the line of his jaw is just sort of...他下巴的弧度简直是……..perfect.完美 。

Like a draughtsman's drawn it.像是画家画出来的，Like I'd drawn it.像是我画出来的。

And his lips are dark and full and they're like bramble.他的唇色很深，嘴唇饱满，像黑莓一样，And all I want to do is bend down and...我想做的只是弯下腰……And he opens his eyes...然后他睁开眼睛，..and squints.微微眯起，And he lifts his hand to cover them so he can see better.他抬手遮住阳光好看得清楚。

And he says, "We'd best be getting back."他这时说，“我们该回去了。

”We all had on us the stench of death.我们浑身恶臭，The bread we ate, the stagnant water,吃的面包，喝的死水，everything we touched had a rotten smell.一切都散发着腐烂的味道。

But that day, everything was OK.只有那一天，所有事情都很美好。

It was bright.很明亮And it was pure, you see?很纯净，你知道吗？

And nobody had seen, had they?没人看见，不是吗？

I've done my bit.我做了我分内的事情，The officer mentioned that.那个军官提到了那个，Exemplary service.“杰出的服役”When he took me aside for a quiet word.当他拉我到一旁谈话的时候。

And of course, what had Terence and me...当然了，泰伦斯和我，What had the Captain and me...上尉和我，..got up to?走到哪一步了？

Sweet FA.什么都没有。

But someone had seen us and...但有人看到了我们，..they thought, "Hello, what's going on here?"他们想着，“哦，这儿有些什么？

”And it's bad for morale and all of that, so I was to be sent elsewhere.这简直有伤风化之类的，所以我要被调到别处去了，And, of course, I didn't get to see the Captain, did I?哦，当然了，我没能见一面上尉， Because he'd been transferred, too.因为他也被调走了，I was packed onto this carriage...我被塞上这节车厢，..sweat and tobacco smelling and fellas pushing up against you满是汗水和烟草的味道，人群推推挤挤and shoving for room, and the train gives a great big lurch就为了抢到一点点空间，突然这列火车猛地抖了一下，and then it starts off.然后就开动了。

I just sit down on the floor and pull me cap over me eyes我就坐在地板上，用帽子遮住眼睛，and drift off.迷迷糊糊地睡着。

I don't know how much time has passed, but...我不知道过去了多久， I wake up and it's dark outside.但当我醒来的时候外边是黑的。

And the train's pulling into a station火车进站了。

and in the carriage it's just these little night lights on - bluey.在车厢里只有夜灯零星的蓝光，They make everyone look three-parts dead.让每个人都看起来像被截成了三段。

And the train pulls into the station然后火车进站，and it's going slow, like, puffing,开始减速，像在喷气like some of them boys in the resus tent.像在复苏营里的士兵们。

And then, I do see him.突然，我看到了他，的的确确是他，Terence.泰伦斯。

He's out the window, on the platform.就在车窗外面，在站台上。

Grey coat, hair tucked under his cap, neat.灰色外套，头发收在帽子里，干干净净。

And he's talking to someone.他在跟某人说话，And they must have made him laugh他们让他笑了，cos there's those little lines in his cheeks again.因为他的脸上又浮现出褶皱。

But he don't see me.但他没看到我。

So I push through the carriage past the other fellas所以我挤过车厢，穿过人群，and it's not easy now cos most have dropped off那并不简单，因为很多人都还没醒。

and I trip over some poor bugger and he curses me,我被某个家伙绊倒了他还骂我。

but I make it to the window and I pull down the sash...但我走到了床边，拉下框格，..and the air outside is warm.窗外的空气很暖和。

And all I want to do is wave.我想做的就只有挥手。

But, of course, what can I say?当然了，我还能说什么？

Um...嗯 ……"So long, Captain Leslie?"“再见，莱斯利上尉？

”"So long, Perce."“再见，佩尔斯。

”But then he does see me.但之后他也看到我了，He glances over,扫了一眼，but he's still talking to his pal但仍在和他的伙伴聊天。

and just then the train lurches forward.突然见，火车向前一抖。

The brakes go on and the blue lights go out开始制动，蓝光熄灭了，and just like that, pitch-black.一下子一片漆黑。

And all the other fellas in the carriage start groaning整个车厢的人都开始抱怨，and someone says, "Oh, here we fucking go,"有人说：“他妈的灯又灭了。

” but all I can feel is my heart beating and the air.但我能感到的就只有心跳和空气，And the darkness pressing against the window还有紧贴在车窗上的黑暗。

and my hand gripping the window ledge.我的手紧抓着窗台。

And then someone takes my hand.然后有人握住我的手，Someone outside on the platform.窗户外面站台之上的某人，And it's Terence.我知道，是泰伦斯。

And he takes my hand and he just...他握着我的手，..lifts it to his lips and he kisses it.抬到嘴唇边上，然后轻轻吻了一下。

There's no train then, there's no troops, there's no war.没有火车，没有军队，也没有战争。

There's just his bramble lips只有他黑莓般的嘴唇，pressed against the tips of my fingers...紧贴在我的手指上。

..and all the hair on my neck goes up on end.我脖子上的汗毛都竖起来了。

And then the train lurches forward然后火车又向前抖动了一下，and he's let go of my hand and all the blue lights go on, and...他放开了我的手，所有的蓝色光又亮了起来。

Outside there's nothing but steam.窗外只有蒸汽，Steam and darkness.蒸汽和黑暗。

看到第四集那里，最后Michael 对Alice 说这句话，然后背景音乐响起 真的鼻子一酸 脑袋一麻也许Alice 不是Michael 最爱的人 但她一定是Michael 最爱的女人这部剧真的太棒了 演员演技吊打 可以背下那么长的台词（近二十分钟）只靠言语和表情就被征服了过去的时代辛酸又凄美 对于这个群体 对于那些人 所以啊 从来就没有铺好的路 种好的树 现在他们享受到的自由与权利也是前人争取和付出得到的而在这个东方国度里 又还有多远呢

本·卫肖、拉塞尔·托维、艾伦·卡明等携手出演BBC Four开发重磅LGBT题材新剧《酷儿们》(Queers,，暂译)，该剧只有一季，共8集，每集都配有独白。

剧集将由《神探夏洛克》编剧马克·加蒂斯执导，并正在英国制作中。

由于该剧有BBC和老维克剧院共同参与。

在电视播放前 ，全8集每集15分钟的独白都将在7月话剧舞台率先表演。

独白将由加蒂斯在内的8位作者撰写，以展现过去100年中，英国历史里同志的生活和遭遇，展现历史。

本·卫肖会在《The Man on the Platform》一集中出演从一战战壕归来的士兵；小狼在《More Anger》一集出演上世纪80年代的同志演员；卡明出演反应同志婚姻的《Something Borrowed》一集。

[敦刻尔克]男主角菲昂·怀特海德等也将分别出演其它几集。

剧集将于今夏播出。

EP01 A certain liquidity of eye1917年，一位留着胡子，有些年龄的士兵向你诉说几段故事。

这让我顿时有种感觉，那种LGBT者互相吸引的魔力将他们的眼神凑在一起，让他们的灵魂遇到彼此。

站台上的那个王尔德消失在迷雾里，站台上缓缓松开的那只手消失在蓝色的灯光里。

就是那样一闪流光的眼神，有一种异常的坚定。

那是一个“承认自己便是罪恶”的年代，所以感触温暖成了一种奢侈。

It’s the Terence. And it’s me.EP02 That was nice1994年，一位十七岁的俊美男生，年轻气盛的精神样子。

16岁和18岁，不过两年的差值真的有那么重要么？

有，很重要，况且是对于17岁。

他身上有一股力量，青年人的冲动。

他老是说nice这个词，好像也是没有什么更贴切的词值得来形容昨晚的经历了。

尽是美好的，值得挂念的。

在最后，他低声说道“我看到了摄像机。

”我好像看到了害怕，又有一些的担心。

是在害怕父母的责怪吗？

那担心是为了什么呢？

可能是担心明年生日的到来吧。

该如何坦白这样一个真实的自己，对本人早已坦然，那对于老一代传统的眼神呢？

但相信，那一定是一次勇敢的演讲，无畏无惧。

It’s the Marcus. It’s his name.EP03 Got enough anger1987年，一位演绎了无数病人角色的演员，最后一次将死的样子。

Gay equals to ‘Got AIDS Yet?’. 人们习惯了吃着爆米花，聊着家常，假装怜惜那些大屏幕上将死的艾滋病人们。

“不过是因为脸罢了。

”不是出于对病毒的畏惧，不是出于对死亡的顾虑，而是出于对这些“怪胎”的嘲笑。

编剧刻意地隐晦着20世纪80年代的影视圈，更准确的说，是当时的普世价值观：将死之人必是同性恋，而同性恋必死。

最后一段的红蓝灯光交织在一起，给人一种似是似非的奇幻感。

他，破了诅咒啊。

AIDS绝不是Simon在厨房哭泣的理由，死亡绝不是将他们分开的魔咒。

真正可怕的是当你重新站在镜子面前，看到的自己，已经不是那个在酒吧充满笑容的你了。

你很害怕，你很软弱。

戏子演过再多的样子，也演不出自己的样子。

电影拍过再多的题材，也看不到社会的真实。

30年后的今天，想要拍这个题材的人找了个有趣的演员来呈现一个看似不沉重的话题。

但冰冷的历史就是狠狠地砸在你脚下，你要明白，愤怒是怎么来的。

It’s the Simon. He fits the bill.EP04 I'd miss you1957年，一位二婚的妻子，还有什么可留恋的。

前三集是queers自身的讲述，而这一集的旁观者视角，没有一丝的释然，没有一点的感慨。

只能哀叹历史的进程成就了一种爱情，也割裂了另一种感情。

像是历史阶段性的断层一样，总有人被落下了。

还没取名就得埋葬的孩子，还没稳定就得被人咬舌根的婚姻，Alice也向往轰轰烈烈的爱情，她也就是个普通女人而已。

作为同妻带给人的心酸让人不知道该怪谁，你该怪Michael吗？

他也害怕被旁人怀疑的眼神。

你该怪过早通过的同性恋合法化决议吗？

这次的认可已经晚了很多年了。

你该怪谁呢？

同样都是在追求爱情的自由，谁也没有错。

其实是早已自知的心情，不过是自欺欺人的借口来缓解对爱的痴求。

她知道自己身材有些虚胖，她知道丈夫半夜晚回家的意义，她知道婆婆刺眼的“安慰”早晚都会到来。

所以，放任他应得的自由，是最“残忍”的解脱。

她其实很苗条，他其实很温柔，只是他们不适合。

Michael, I’d miss you, long.EP05 I miss the secret1967年，一位白发苍苍的老人，脸上泛着阳光的耀眼。

这一集的视角看似在同性恋合法化的年代，但编剧却很tricky的选择了一位老“鸭子”的视角。

实则还是在表现几十年前禁忌的爱情。

六十年代的英国充满着逃脱禁锢的欢呼声，有人大声高歌着多年后争取来的平等，有人身体力行地表达他们的爱，有人却独自怀念着颠沛流离的年代。

在和平年代，人们往往不会想念战争。

但他却独想念苟且偷生的味道，那是每日每夜恐惧死亡后生的乐趣，那是重见阳光时候耀眼的光晕和微红的脸颊，那是在一遍遍死亡后看到天堂的样子。

久违的幸福，总来得恰是时候。

He's the god of mine. But I won’t tell you his name.

在朋友告诉我麦哥和小本合作了一部叫做queers的时候我的第一反应是"还有比这个更gay的事吗"......然后发现果然是讨论LGBT平权问题的片子。

作为一个多年的英剧粉我不得不说英国影视圈本身就是一部波澜壮阔的LGBT平权运动史......优秀的gay片真的一抓一大把不是gay片的也几乎一定要卖个腐（BBC America的Dirk Gently居然凑了男二女一cp而不是男一男二cp编剧脑子一定是进水了......）......已经出柜的优秀影人也是真多啊2223在此可以列个小清单。

Maurice. Tipping the Velvet. Vicious. Fingersmith. 英剧迷们一定要去看。

言归正传......首先全独白的表现形式真的很大胆。

如果演员演技不够或者内容无聊很容易让观众弃剧。

从演技上来讲有网友吐槽除了小本以外其他人基本都是舞台剧演法，但我个人认为偏夸张的舞台剧演法其实更适合独白。

英剧和美剧的最大差别便是美剧更贴近生活而英剧更贴近艺术。

而从内容上来讲，麦哥对这几个故事的选择还是非常到位的，情节和台词写的也很漂亮。

（虽然有一两集的语言和文化包袱太重了。

）缺点是对lesbian和bisexual的coverage不足。

居然没有请到Andrew Scott有点失望啊......人见人爱的莫娘......E1除了极小众的Nathan Barley以外我居然没看过Ben Whishaw其它的作品也算是人生一大缺憾。

当时看了张照片就爱上了......话说小本军装胡子的造型不美啊!故事讲的非常细腻,在此不多提了。

A certain liquidity in the eyes让我想到冰火里描写百花骑士liquid golden eyes; 话说麦哥和马丁你俩的gaydar构造是一样的吗?E3前半段本来觉得是个很无味的故事。

演员梗几乎完全没有get到。

抛弃HIV阳性的男友诚然是一般人会做出的理智选择，为此做道德评判并不应该，但是正因为太平凡太理智了也失去了看点。

然而结尾处演员的愤怒却打动了我。

当少数群体得不到应有的保护。

当同性恋被无端和AIDS挂钩。

两分钟的独白成就了一集好剧。

E4Alice真的是个很乐观很可爱的妹子啊。

有一个私生子的过去涉及到荡妇羞辱？

所以公婆选择她作为同妻，因为反正她也是被人搞过的破鞋？

E5Ian Gelder老爷子是个意外的惊喜啊！

酒红色的骚气西装，花枝招展的做派......老爷子居然这么不火......唯一值得一提的是演过GOT里的Kevan Lannister了.......对于年轻人、宗教和战争的吐槽都好搞笑啊！

虽然语言文化包袱重了点。

如果世间真的有天堂，它就在地上。

我见过上帝。

他是我爱上的一个美国士兵。

老爷子卖得一手好贱，吐得一口好槽。

E6更多涉及到racism而非LGBT问题。

如果不讨论少数民族问题是相当无味的一集。

黑人小哥演技一般。

然而一定程度上的政治正确还是必要的。

最后一集男主提到王尔德时，说大学期间去养老院遇见一个盲眼老人很喜欢王尔德，还说曾见过王尔德一次，很明显说的就是第一集的男主，他说到过自己眼睛有问题了才被调到医院工作，十五岁时曾在火车站见过被收监的王尔德。

时代不同，一个被迫与爱人分开，孤老一生。

一个遇见所爱，步入婚姻。

很心酸。

希望我们国家不要再谈同色变，现在B站同性接吻的镜头甚至台词都得厚码或者剪掉才能过审，远远不如从前的接受度大，在同性问题上并没有日渐宽容，反而收紧。

希望我们的社会早日意识到这个问题，不要让更多的人迫于时代的压力错过所爱，希望我能够看到我国同性婚姻合法那一天，不要让我等太久，拜托了。

不要再让更多的爱流离失所。

看着Ben Whishaw从青涩的年代演着演着就有了胡须。。。

没变的是他灰蓝色眸子中深深的忧郁。

《故园风雨》中那个痴情的公子，散散地躺在湖边的草地上，说了很长的一段表白：我希望在这里埋下一罐金子，等老了的时候挖出来慢慢回忆。。。

大意如此，之间的一根烟呼吸间让之句话多了本.卫肖式的风格。

只看了两集，却知道“On the platform”一定是最精彩的。

你见过只有独白和面部表情的电影吗？

镜头一直停留在他阴郁而风霜的面部，眼神、口角以及英伦的发音的词语说出了时候的动作。

就像眼中一道流光闪过，对字幕上翻译的是流光。

跟着他缓缓的描述我们看见在金盏花和罂粟盛开的山坡上，一池湖水as clear as glass，身边躺着的Leslie是否是个暧昧的名字我不得而知，但我看到了本描述中大理石雕塑一样完美的侧脸，让人有想吻上去的冲动。。。

直到他的铁灰色眼睛里涌出泪水的那一刻，我知道并不是因为悲伤，而是认同的幸福。

也许他们再未谋面，但那又怎样呢？

那罐金子可以让他慢慢地回忆起一个阳光灿烂的午后、湖水边。。。